


Secrets

by thebasement_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Drama, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-09-11
Updated: 2006-09-11
Packaged: 2018-11-20 06:27:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11330355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebasement_archivist/pseuds/thebasement_archivist
Summary: Mulder and Doggett are working undercover asactors and it turns out they each have more secretsthan they knew.





	Secrets

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Basement](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Basement), which moved to the AO3 to ensure the stories are always available and so that authors may have complete control of their own works. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Basement's collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thebasement/profile).

Secrets

## Secrets

### by Jay

##### [Story Headers]

  


Mulder had been on his mind all day. Hell, he'd been on his mind for months but he hadn't wanted to admit it. There was something different lately, something he couldn't figure out, but there was something. Mulder seemed to be avoiding him, for one thing. He knew Mulder liked his privacy and hardly ever "hung out" with many co-workers other than Scully, but when they had first starting working undercover as actors together on this case, at least they had gone out for some coffee or a drink a couple of times.  
He'd felt a little like a country red-neck next to Mulder the first time they'd had a drink together. "What'll you have?" Doggett asked Mulder after ordering beer on tap for himself.  
"A glass of red wine." Mulder had told the bartender without hesitation. 

Doggett sat in his chair in the corner of the studio in deep thought and didn't notice that Mulder was watching him from his stage mark. Mulder wondered what Doggett seemed to be so deep in thought about. He wondered if he'd get the guts to talk to the man again after what had happened a couple of weeks ago. He knew he shouldn't just give him the silent treatment around the set, but he couldn't help it. If Doggett suspected, if he knew, what would his reaction be? 

Just as Mulder started to turn toward the sound of another actor's voice, Doggett looked up and right into his eyes. Mulder had to stop himself from gasping at the clearness, the sharpness, the utter sex appeal in those sky blue eyes. He held Doggett's gaze for an instant until Doggett's brow furrowed just the slightest,and then he turned away. 

"'What the hell?" Doggett thought. He was slightly irritated now and really wanted to know what was going on. He made up his mind to talk to Mulder as soon as the chance presented it's self. He didn't have too long to wait. Twenty minutes later lunch was called and the set cleared almost immediately. He had watched for Mulder to exit the back dressing area and head for his trailer which would have been his normal routine. When he didn't see him come past, he went looking for him. 

Mulder sat looking at himself in the mirror. The make-up room was quiet except for the radio playing somewhere in the corner. Mulder recognized the tune. He felt Doggett standing in the doorway before he actually saw him. He met his gaze in the mirror and tried to appear normal. 

"Hey Doggett. No lunch today?" Calm, collected. 

"Nah, I thought I'd see if you wanted to grab a bite. I was waiting out there for you but didn't see you so I came back here. Got plans?" Voice a little deeper than normal. 

"I think I'll pass. I had a big breakfast and I'm not really hungry. You know how that goes. Now we'll end up shooting over and I'll be starving by six o'clock." 

They both chuckled appropriately. Doggett leaned against one side of the doorway and reached over to place his hand on the fame opposite him. Mulder nearly groaned at the site of Doggett's black T-shirt   
stretching tight across his muscled chest and arms. "Mulder, I need to ask you a question." Doggett said, while looking at the floor. 

"Shoot." Once again Mulder made his voice as normal as possible but he was afraid he knew what the question would be. 

"What the hell have I done to piss you off?" Doggett's gruff voice came out in that trademark near whisper of his. 

Mulder was so shocked by this question that he turned to face him instead of looking at his reflection in the mirror. "What?" 

"I can't figure it out, you've been acting like I'm the God damn walking plague around here for the last couple of weeks and I can't figure what it is I did to piss you off. We seemed to be making a pretty good go at becoming friends until about two weeks ago. So, what gives?" 

"Doggett, I don't know..." 

"Oh, don't start with that bullshit. At least have the balls to tell me to my face why you dislike me. Out there today, you were looking at me like you were studying a bug. Why?" 

"I wasn't looking at you like anything. I happened to look in your direction the same time you looked up from whatever daydream you were having. You're paranoid Doggett. I thought that was supposed to be me." Mulder was irritated now. If it hadn't been for that look today maybe Doggett wouldn't have come to him at all since he apparently didn't remember, or hadn't seen, what had happened a few weeks ago. 

"Are you gay or bi-sexual or something? I'm not trying to be rude..." 

Mulder shot from his chair and crossed the room in three long strides, stopping just inches from Doggett's face. "Don't go there." 

"What the fuck?" Doggett straightened and stood his ground. "Don't be so fucking sensative. I don't care one way or the other. I'm just trying to talk to you." 

"Don't stand there and tell me you wouldn't care if I was. You would be the frist person to spread the news from one end of the Hoover building to the other." 

"Get the fuck out of my face Mulder and stop acting like you know me and what I would do. You don't know shit about me or anyone else on this case. You're too closed off." Doggett took a step backwards, trying to get some distance between his body and Mulder's before he did something he would really regret. 

"Maybe that's what you were daydreaming about, Doggett. Maybe you were hoping I liked men, maybe you're the fag around here. Is that it, Doggett? Do you swing both ways? Feeling a little jealous that I'm not paying attention to you anymore?" Mulder couldn't stop himself from saying these things. He wanted to take it back the instant it left his mouth, but it was too late. 

Doggett thought about hitting him. Then the anger just passed and he was tired of the dancing around. He stepped even closer to Mulder than he had been before. Mulder seemed to tense with anticipation of a blow. 

Very slowly Doggett allowed his eyes to take in every inch of Mulder's face.  
His brow, his eyes, his nose and lingering much longer than intended on those amazing lips.  
Doggett returned his eyes to Mulder's and in his best breathless, husky-seductive voice said, "And what if I am?" 

Mulder's mind registered three things at once. His dick was rock hard instantly. He had swallowed so loudly when Doggett finished speaking that the sound was deafing in his head. The song on the radio was "In The Air Tonight" By Phil Collins. How appropriate.   
He wasn't sure he could speak with those eyes drilling into him like they were. 

"Stop it Doggett. This isn't funny anymore. We're co-workers and if we fight all the time we both lose out." 

"Answer me." Doggett's voice was still low. 

"So what if you are. Bi, gay, straight it doesn't matter to me." 

"I think it does." Doggett felt the tension leaving him. Felt the passion settling into his gut, hot and fierce. His dick was jumping against his jeans and sooner or later he knew Mulder would notice, just as he had already noticed Mulder's growing hard on. 

"I'm not gay, Doggett." Mulder said, his voice low. 

"I'm not either, Mulder." Doggett shot back. 

"So what the fuck are we talking about here? Some kind of Brokeback Mountain type of shit? Drop this mess and let's move on." 

"I can't. And I don't think you can either. Just because we like being with women, doesn't mean we can't be attracted to men. I know a lot of Bi-men and women." 

Mulder couldn't stop his eyebrow from shooting up. "You do?" 

"Yes. I do. Do you?" 

Mulder looked into those blue eyes again and caved. He hung his head slightly and closed his eyes. "Yes." he answered. 

Doggett hated the stance of defeat that Mulder seemed to be taking. Slowly he raised his hand and placed it on the back of Mulder's bowed neck. "It's okay. It's nothing to be ashamed of. And I'm certainly not going to tell anyone." 

Doggett's touch electrified Mulder. The jolt shot from the warmth of Doggett's hand on his skin to the enormous erection in his jeans. Raising his head he closed the distance to Doggett's mouth  
so quickly that it almost knocked them both off their feet. Doggett went with the momentum and fell back against the doorway, his other hand coming up to Mulder's hair. Mulder slid his fingers into a beltloop on Doggett's jeans and pulled their bodies together, sweet pain rushing up from the harsh meeting of their erections.   
Doggett moaned into Mulder's mouth and bit at his lower lip. Mulder moved a hand behind Doggett's neck to keep that sweet, hot mouth solidly against his own. The hunger, the craving for each other was more than they had anticipated. Both men were gasping for air but refused to spend more than a tenth of a second away from the others mouth. Hands moved, searched, felt, cupped. Mulder tugged Doggett's T-shirt from his jeans and slid his hands onto the smooth, hot surface of skin. Doggett almost tore Mulder's shirt while shoving it upwards so the bare skin of his abs would meet his own. 

Mulder came to his senses first. "John," a breath and another kiss. "Do you realize where we  
are?" Still soft meetings of the lips. They just couldn't stop. 

Doggett held Mulder's smooth mid section against his own and loved the feel of the hot skin rubbing smoothly together during every pant for air. "Yes." 

"We can't. Not here. Not now. Everyone will be back soon. We don't even know if everyone left in the first place!" Slight panic showing in Mulder's voice now. He tried to move away from Doggett but he was held solidly in place. 

Doggett looked around the corner of the doorway and up and down the hall before returning his eyes to Mulder's. "If you make me stop, I will. I don't want to, but I will. There's nobody here. All we have to do is close the door. I don't think I could stand it, but we could even go out to your trailer or mine if you'd feel safer. Mulder, I mean to have you before this day is over. Tell me you don't want that too." 

"Damnit, John. I don't want you to stop. I don't want to stop. But we just can not do this here. Let's at least try to make it out to one of our trailers. Okay?" 

"Fuck." Doggett pressed hard against Mulder once more before releasing him. "Two more seconds and I would have cum in my jeans anyway." He added with a sly grin. 

"I would have been right with you." Mulder shot back with a grin of his own. 

"Keep looking at me like that and I'll cum anyway. Now, your trailer or mine?" 

Mulder's eyebrow shot up again. "A little dominating and demanding, aren't you?" 

"My dick speaks for me when it's in the shape it's in right now. What game are you playing now? Are we going to try to make it outside or not?" 

"Are you really that close to an orgasm?" Mulder looked around the quiet set and stepped back into the room, moving Doggett with him. 

"What the...?" 

"We're both so close. I want this John. I want whatever we're starting here, but I want it to start right. I've not been with many men and I'm not going to pretend that I want us to be just about sex. So I want the first time to be good. To be right. Would you disagree with that?" 

Doggett smiled, his blue eyes dancing. "No. I agree with every word." 

"Then I have a solution for right now. Since we're both so close, we finish what we started very quickly and later we can take things as slow as we like. No rushing to get out of the trailers before everyone gets back from lunch. No worrying when they'll be back. Two seconds,remember?" Mulder's hand cupped Doggett's erection through his jeans. 

"No. Not like that." Doggett pulled him into his arms again, turning him and shoving him against the door. "Just in case." he whispered against Mulder's mouth. Raising their shirts again to allow the touch of skin, Doggett began to grind his erection against Mulder's through their jeans. His mouth playing games with Mulder's. 

"Oh, fucking hell, John." 

"Okay?" Doggett asked, his tongue licking at Mulder's lips. 

"Oh hell yes" Mulder's rushed response. "Fuck..." 

Doggett placed both hands flat on the door and dry fucked Mulder harder. "Now, Fox. Now. I wanna watch you cum." 

Mulder grabbed Doggett's hips and stilled them as he pounded forward hard against him twice and tensed all over. Doggett met the second thrust and kept moving backward as Mulder's hips collided with the door. Both men's bodies shook. Every muscle tense. Sweat glistening on every inch of exposed skin. Both men spoke in husky whispers. One word each. 

"John...." 

"Fox..." 

Doggett slumped forward, his weight on his forearms resting on the door, his head on Mulder's shoulder. Mulder ran his hands up Doggett's sides. "Hey. You okay?" 

Doggett laughed and raised his head. "I should be asking you that, shouldn't I?"   
They both laughed and shared one more kiss before reluctantly moving apart. "Now we just have to see if we can walk to our separate trailers to clean up." Doggett said as he reached for a towel to wipe the sweat from his face and arms. As he tossed it aside, Mulder caught it. 

"Don't mind if I share, do you?" Mulder towled himself dry too, while grinning at Doggett. 

"Watch it. You won't make it out this door if you keep that up." Doggett warned, but smiles warmly. "Tell me something." He opened the door and looked out. Still nobody around. "How many times have you heard the phrase, 'Christ, you're fucking gorgeous?' "  
He motioned for Mulder to follow him as he walked out into the hallway. 

"Probably as many as you have." They walked toward the exit sign at the far end of the studio. 

"I doubt that I've heard it as much as you have. You're the sex symbol, big boy, not me." 

"Oh give me a break. We're acting as actors. Once we break this case it's back to the office and so much for fan mail. Besides I've seen your fan mail bags. You get your share too." 

"Hate to break it to you, but the majority of the letters you see are hate mail, not fan mail. People hate my character on this show. I play the bad guy, remember? You're the knight in shining armor. Wonder what your fans would do to me if they knew I'd corrupted their idol and fully intend to corrupt him even further later on tonight." Doggett gave Mulder a grin and sideways glance. 

"Corrupt me?" Mulder didn't bother with a sideways grin, he looked Dogget right in the eyes. 

They exited the studio just as two groups of people were entering. They spoke and nodded and went on, just two cast members shooting the breeze. 

They looked at each other once the groups were gone. "Feel strange?" Mulder asked first. 

"No. Not one bit. You?" 

"No." With a soft smile. "We need to start hanging out more anyway. In public. Not just on the job. Away from work. What do you think?" 

Doggett looked at him with unmasked surprise. "I think it's a fucking great idea. But not beacuse of the job. Just because I want to see you and be with you as much as I can." 

"I know some people that may not like that idea." Mulder laughed. 

Doggett stopped. Mulder stopped and turned to look at him. "What?" 

"Tell me it's none of my business if you want to. I know it really isn't, but what is the situation with you and Scully? I've often wondered about you two and..." 

Mulder turned slowly and looked at the sky and around the empty lot. "Fist, it is your business.  
You have every right to know who my past partners have been if we are going to make any kind of relationship work. Second, I'd kiss you right now if we weren't out in the middle of this damn lot just because of the way you asked that question, trying not to be jealous in  
case it made me mad. It didn't. Third, " He turned back to those beautiful eyes. "I'll explain everything about Scully and I. Anything you want to know. But not right now." 

Doggett exhaled the breath that he didn't realize he'd been holding. 

"Thank you for being honest with me. I have a milion questions in my head that I want to ask and I just don't know where to start. Maybe we can talk more later. Maybe." He lowered his eyes to Mulder's groin and raised one corner of his mouth in a grin. 

"Stop that. You're going to get us both in trouble." Mulder stopped in front of his trailer. "Talk to you at the end of shooting? We'll work something out for tonight?" 

"Count on it. Want to meet up out here or somewhere else?" 

"We'll meet here and decide everything else after that." Mulder turned to go inside. Doggett took one parting glance at that gorgeous jean clad ass and turned toward his own trailer.   
"John?" Mulder's voice stopped him. 

"Hmm?" He turned back. "What I said in there, before I knew..." 

"Don't, Fox. It's okay. You were in defense mode. Everything's fine now." A reasuring smile  
gets a thankful one in return and the two part ways. 

Mulder undressed quickly and stepped into the lukewarm water of the shower, trying hard not to think about the possibility that Doggett was doing the exact same thing at the exact same moment. When he finally did get his mind off of his new partner, it turned to a place he didn't want to go for a while yet. Scully. What was he going to tell her?   
She knew he was attracted to some men, but not that he had ever acted on that attraction in any physical way. He finished his shower and hurried back to the set. 

Doggett did just the opposite. He took his time undressing and getting into the shower and allowed himself to think about Mulder and what they had shared and would be sharing later. He was able to resist the temptation to jerk off in the shower because he was still slightly sore at the roughness of their encounter that had happened only a few minutes ago but already seemed like hours. Jesus, he missed him already. He leaned his forehead against the cool surface of the shower wall and thought about Monica. She wouldn't expect this. He could hide it from others, but not her. He wouldn't. 

Back on the set Mulder tried so hard to concentrate on what he was supposed to be doing but Doggett's gruff voice kept whispering in his mind. "I mean to have you before this day is over." Christ, why hadn't he given some hint before now? The time they had waisted. The things that they had missed. The waisted energy hiding feelings and looks and things they wanted to say. 

"Hey there handsome." An all too familiar voice said from his left. "What are you so deep in thought about?" Mulder turned to a smiling Scully. 

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." Mulder said with a smile. 

That eyebrow of hers shot up and she pushed him back a step by placing a hand on his chest. "You've got a secret! Tell!" 

Mulder laughed. So many people believed they were lovers, even Doggett, according to his words from earlier, but in reality they were so much more. They were friends that shared a very special love for one another. Scully even knew of his attraction to some men, but not to Doggett. 

"What? Something happened, didn't it? It's all over your face." They sat in their chairs and Mulder looked around at the crew going about their business,not concerned with them. 

He looked back at Scully and nodded.  
"With the case? Or something else?" She dropped her voice "You look like you had a very good lunch. Anyone I know?" 

Mulder loved her for her ability to make him laugh under any circumstance.  
"I caught someone looking at me before lunch today. They came looking for me when I didn't come from make-up and sort of made a pass at me."   
He smiled. 

He laughed when Scully's eyes got even bigger than they had been. "And?" 

"And we're meeting after work tonight. To talk." 

"Liar. That's not the whole story!" Scully slapped him on the arm. 

"It's not a lie, we are meeting after wrap. I'm not sure what we're doing, we're working that out then. I just left out what happened earlier." Mulder got up and walked toward the shooting set. 

Scully looked after him for a moment before following, her mouth open and her eyes wide. "Mulder!" she called. "Who is it? Cast member, or crew?" 

"Cast." Mulder said. 

Scully stopped walking and so did he. "Why won't you just tell me who it is?" Now Mulder knew he was in trouble. Her tone of voice said so. 

Doggett watched Mulder and Scully walking across the set and wondered if they were talking about him. Scully had an almost angry look on her face. Had he told her? Did she know about him? He doubted it since he thought they had shared some type of sexual relationship in the past. He started to move toward his shooting area when he heard someone yell his name. By the time he turned in the general direction it was too late. He'd been so lost in watching Mulder that he hadn't seen a camera boom backing in his direction. It knocked him flying into the air before he had time to react or try to protect himself. He landed hard on the concrete floor. His head making contact first and his world going black in an instant. 

Mulder and Scully heard the yell and when Mulder turned, Doggett was coming down in an arch and landing on his head. Mulder started to run. He realized Scully was looking from the scene where Doggett lay on the ground, to his face, and putting two and two together quickly. She caught his arm. Her eyes warned him to keep himself in check. "You've done a good job of fooling me with this acting job. Keep on acting." She said calmly. 

Once again Mulder thought how much he loved her for her devotion to their friendship and how she watched out for him. But he realized she was also angry, maybe even hurt. 

He ran full speed across the studio and skidded on his knees next to Doggett's frighteningly still body. "Get a FUCKING AMBULENCE!" he yelled. Scully was at his side now and placed a hand on his arm, giving it a gentle squeeze. 

Vaguely he heard someone say studio peramedics were right there. Then they were there, two suited medics trying to get to Doggett to check his vitals, call in stats, whatever they needed to do. Scully gently coaxed him away. She was undercover as well and couldn't show her doctor skills. She was working for a talent agency and was Mulder and Doggett's manager. He went reluctantly but without incident. "Where? Find out where they're takig him, Scully, please. And get me there now." And she did. 

Mulder wondered if this was all somehow his fault. What if this was some kind of punishment for what they had done? What if Doggett hadn't been paying attention because he'd been watching him? If it were true, he didn't think he could live with that. He was the only one that knew how long he had been feeling this way toward Doggett. He had even kept it from Scully and now he could see that had hurt her.  
He had had immediately admired his physical presence and confident attitude. He hadn't been very familiar with his work so he had looked up his service records. And that rough voice of his. Mulder had grown fond of that very quickly. 

It was his attraction to him that had made things so tense between them. Mulder had never been that strongly attracted to another man before and wasn't sure how to react to it. He realized that being close to him would be a big problem. And he wanted to be close to him often. 

"Where is he? I want to see him, I want to see him now." 

Mulder looked up and inwardly groaned when he saw Monica Reyes walking toward him with Scully. He wasn't sure he could handle this right now. He had his suspicions that Doggett and Reyes had some sort or romantic past together. 

* * *

"Monica, calm down. He's stable but still hasn't regained conscienceness." Scully said, trying to calm her. "He's in room 312." 

Reyes nodded and walked down the hall. 

Mulder waited until he was sure Reyes couldn't hear them. "Why wouldn't you let me see him?" 

"It's not a matter of me not letting you see him. Right now it's a matter of who sees you and what you're doing. Keep it together Mulder." Scully's voice told him that she was trying to not be irritated with him, but it was difficult for her. 

They moved to a back corner of the waiting room and sat down facing one another at an angle so they could watch the door and have the wall at their back. 

"Why didn't you tell me?" Scully asked. 

"I didn't know how. To be honest, when I first came back I thought there might have been an attraction between the two of you, you had become so close in such a short time. I was jealous for a while." 

"Jealous of which one of us?" 

Mulder looked at Scully and was glad to see a small glint in her eyes. She was teasing him. She gave him a soft smile and reached over to take his hand. 

Mulder raised her hand to his mouth and kissed the back of it. "Both." He smiled back at her. 

"So, what brought all this on?" 

"Like I said earlier, he came looking for me today. I thought it was about this scene we had shot, I got a little too excited," he gave her a shrug and a grin and she laughed lightly. "I thought he had noticed and was going to start something. It turns out that my avoiding him was hurting his feelings. He just came right out and asked me my sexual orientation." 

"That's Doggett. Blunt to a fault." Scully smiled. 

Someone cleared their throat in the doorway and both agents turned in that direction. "He's awake. He's asking to speak to you." Monica said to Mulder. 

Scully squeezed his hand when she felt him go tense to all but spring from the chair. Mulder calmly rose and walked past Reyes and into the hallway. The urge to sprint down to Doggett's room didn't subside, but he didn't give into it either. 

Once inside Doggett's room he dismissed the agent on guard dressed as a nurse then he closed the curtains before moving to the bedside. "Hey." He said and ran one finger down Doggett's forearm. 

"Hey." Doggett said, opening his eyes and trying to smile. 

"In much pain?" 

"Nah. Landed on my head. No problems." 

"We caught our guy. Turns out there was no X-File here. Just a crazed fan of the show. But we've got him. And if I get my hands on him, he'll become an X-File." 

Doggett closed his eyes and tried to nod. His face wrinkled in pain. Mulder's heart throbbed in his chest and he felt a physical ache of his own just from the sight of Doggett's obvious suffering. Then he realized something else was wrong Doggett's whole body was stiffening and he wasn't moving. 

"John?" Panic in his voice. "John?" 

He ran to the door. "Doctor! Someone, get in here now!" 

"It's..." Doggett was trying to talk. "Okay now." 

Mulder was confused. "What, JOhn? What is it?" 

"Not. As. Bad." 

A doctor and nuse entered. Bureau doctors. "What's his diagnosis? What just happened to him?" MUlder almost demanded. 

"Who are you?" The doctor asked. 

Mulder hesitated for a minute. "I'm his partner. We're working together on this case." 

"Agent Doggett? Do you give permission for me to discuss you're medical information with your partner?" the said to DOggett. 

Doggett looked at the doctor and then at Mulder. Mulder was even more worried now that he was hesitating. "Tell me." Mulder almost yelled. 

"Go ahead." Doggett said to the doctor. 

"Your partner's back is broken in two places. One at the base of the skull caused by the impact of his landing and the other in the middle of the back caused by the impact from the machinery that hit him." 

"Mulder..." Doggett started but stopped when he saw the look on Mulder's face. "I need to talk to my partner alone. I'm fine now. He'll call you if I sieze again." 

"Sieze?" Mulder looked like he'd been stuck several times with a baseball bat. 

Doggett waited until the two medical agents were out of the room. He couldn't raise his hand so he raised two fingers and motioned Mulder closer. 

Mulder didn't move.   
Doggett's brow furrowed. 

"This is my fault." Mulder said. "I caused this. You were supposed to be on another case and I brought you onto this one. I should have been more alert today, if I hadn't...if we..." 

"You regret it already? Fox, please come over here." 

This time Mulder did move to the edge of the bed and link two of his fingers with DOggett's. "Everything will be fine. I'll get better, you'll see. I'm a tough son of a bitch, I can take it. What I can't take is you blaming yourself and regreting what we had, have." 

Mulder just nodded and fought the urge to scream, cry and pound the wall with his fist. "I'm not going to lose you. I can't, John. I just...." 

Doggett gave him a questioning look. "What?" 

Mulder moved the two fingers to Doggett's cheek and carressed it once. "I need a chance to love you." 

Doggett's face relaxed and his eyes widened. He started to speak when the sound of the door opening broke their moment and Mulder stepped back quickly. 

Doctors and nurses entered. Mulder smiled at Doggett. "I'll come back to see you later tough guy. Hang in there." 

Doggett nodded slightly. "Bring a beer when you come back." Everyone in the room laughed a polite laugh and one of the doctors asked Mulder if he would send Monica back in. 

Mulder exited the room and was fighting hard to keep control. He found Scully and Reyes in the waitng area and told Reyes what the doctor had said. He waited until she was gone then slumped into a chair, buried his face in his hands and let out a rough hitching breath. 

"Mulder?!" Scully was at his side instantly. "What? What happened?" 

Scully was standing in front of him and when he raised his head to look at her no words were needed between them. She saw his pain and stepped forward to allow him to wrap his arms around her and rest his head against her stomach. "Oh Mulder. What are you getting into? I worry so much about you sometimes." She said while stroking his hair. 

"His back is broken." Mulder said, his voice breaking. His words choked. "In two places." 

Scully gasped. "Oh my God, no. Monica didn't say anything. Does she know?" 

Mulder shrugged. "I don't know. Probably not. When I left the doctors and nurses had just come in and they wanted me to ask her to come back in. I assume they are telling her now. John allowed the doctor to tell me." 

"Mulder, there's not a lot more you can do here. Let me take you home. You've had a hell of a day and things aren't going to get any easier."  
She trailed off. 

"Don't remind me." 

He sighed heavily. "I don't want to go home. Take me back to the set to my trailer. I want to leave my contact information for the doctors and nurses though." 

Scully nodded and ran a hand down his cheek. "You do that and I'll go tell Monica we are leaving." 

* * *

Mulder relaxed into the cushions of his sofa and sighed. His mind was still racing with a thousand different thoughts. The main one being that he was supposed to be here or in John's trailer with him tonight. 

Scully sat next to him. "How you holding up?" 

"What am I goig to do, Scully?" His eyes met hers. 

"You'll do what you always do and survive this. You know, I had no idea this thing with you and Doggett was this strong for you." She ran her fingers through his hair. "You love him, don't you?" 

Mulder nodded. 

"Does he know?" 

"I told him that he had to get better because I needed a chance to love him. That's when the doctors and nurses came in." 

"Do you think he feels the same?" 

"Oh God, Scully, I don't know. I want to say yes. He looked shocked, but not unhappy when I said it but I don't know if I'm reading things right because my mind is so scrambled lately." 

"I don't think you are reading him wrong. I think you two share a connection that shocked you both when you realized it's strength and depth." 

Mulder sighed and allowed her words and touch to soothe him as they had so many times before and he fell asleep with her fingers still stroking his hair. 

* * *

Doggett lay in his hospital bed, the muscle in his jaw flexing and relaxing until he his head hurt terribly. He was waiting for the pain medicine that he had just been given to kick in so he could block out the images he'd just seen and the words he'd read. 

An envelope had been left for him at the nurses station. It had been checked out by the agents on guard before being delivered to him so he knew others had seen and read what he had. That just made matters worse. He tried to tell himself not to pay attention to any of the things in the envelope, considering the unknown source, but it was very hard for him not to. He also knew that whoever had left the envelope for him was their suspect, since he'd been captured already. 

The notes were about Mulder and Scully and how they were having an affair. The notes didn't say anything about what had happened between him and Mulder but some things were insinuated, so Doggett knew someone else had been on the set when he and Mulder had thought they were alone. The photos were of Mulder and Scully in the hospital waiting room hugging, holding each other and touching like lovers. There was another note that said Mulder and Scully were known to still be in his on the lot trailer and would more than likely be spending the night together. 

Doggett tried hard not to let these things get to him. But at the same time he wondered how he could have been so stupid. Mulder and Scully did have a certain chemistry that was hard to deny. And Mulder had said he would explain. How could he have been so wrong? 

He closed his eyes and saw the images of Mulder and Scully sitting side by side, her head resting on his shoulder. Her standing in front of him and his arms wrapped around her, her hand on and in his hair. His breath caught in his throat. 

The pain was white hot flashes in his brain but he made himself move one hand to the phone sitting on the small rolling stand in front of him. As he dialed Mulder's number he told himself he should wait. He was goig to be letting emotion, medication and pain talk for him and that wasn't a good thing. 

Mulder's voice sounded husky with sleep. 

"Am I disturbing anything?" Doggett's own voice sounded so far away from him. He wondered how he sounded to Mulder. 

Shock, amazement, and something else, maybe guilt, made Mulder sound strange. "John?! What...how...are you okay?" 

"Touching. You sound concerned." 

Silence for a moment. "John, what's wrong. You don't sound right." 

"Something else is broken. And it can't be fixed." 

More silence. "Oh God, John. What. Tell me, please don't keep me in the dark. I'm glad you called me like this. Is Monica there? I'll be there in..." 

"Don't bother. I don't want you here. Don't wake Scully." 

"She's still sleeping. We decided to..." Doggett smiled a smile that dripped acid when Mulder realized what he was saying. 

"That answers any questions I had after getting some interesting news and trying to tell myself not to jump to conclusions. You don't need another lover. You have your hands full. Guess my accident was a blessing in disguise. A broken back and heart are better than a completely shattered world." 

"John I'm not sure what news you're talking about but you know you can't go by..." 

"Save the shit, Mulder. You wanted to try me, you got a little taste. We'll leave it there. Just stay away from me with your fucking sweet poison soaked words about love and relationships and..." His breath hitched again. 

"John?!" Mulder's voiced was clearly paniced."John I'm not staying away. You've got this all wrong." 

"Come near my room and I'll have you thrown out." Doggett hung the phone up the best he could and sank deeper into the bed, pain washing over him and taking him into darkness. 

* * *

Mulder sat in silence looking at his phone as if it had spoken to him without anyone being on the other end of the line. His first thought was that he was dreaming. This had not just happened, it was a dream and he would wake up any second now. 

He broke the paralysis and grabbed the remote control for the TV, turning it on and searching the channels for a news story about the accident. What had made Doggett so angry? 

He watched as a shaky camera recorded the tender moments he and Scully had shared at the hospital, which was followed by some still photos of them entering his trailer. The announcer was talking about John's accident and then moving on to the story of his and Scully's apparent affair. Of course all the names given were their undercover names. 

Mulder grabbed his phone and dialed Skinner's number. He didn't care if it was secured or not. The machine picked up on the second ring. He left a message for SKinner, nearly yelling at him about not letting him and Scully know about the news story if it was part of the case, and still yelling when he said if it wasn't about the case he wanted to know who the hell let it get through their news filter they were supposed to have in place. 

He had just pushed the button on the phone and was preparing to call the hospital back to see if he could get Doggett to listen to him when the doorknob on his trailer turned. Mulder slowly reached for his gun which was hidden near the sofa. When whoever was attempting to open the door found it locked, they knocked, which surprised Mulder. 

Mulder crossed to the door. "Yeah?" he called through the door. 

"It's security. I was making my rounds and thought I heard yelling from your trailer sir. Just checking to make sure things are okay." 

Mulder stayed on guard. "Sorry about that, just doing some rehearsing. But thanks for checking." 

"Not a problem sir. Have a good evening." 

Mulder collapsed onto the sofa and rubbed at his temples. He was about to have one hell of a headache. Scully stirred next to him. "What's going on?" 

"I've ruined my life." David sighed, his voice breaking. Tears coming into his eyes. 

Scully reached over and put an arm around his shoulders and he fell sideways against her and let the tears flow. 

* * *

Doggett blinked a few times then opened his eyes. Reality came back to him slowly. He raised a hand to rub his eyes and the pain made him cringe slightly. He opened his eyes fully when he realized that he had lifted his arm more than just a few inches from the bed. He tried the other arm and it moved easily with hardly any pain. He reached for the button to call the nurse and saw Monica asleep in a chair in the corner. 

He was a little surprised to see her there after their talk the night before. She said she knew something was coming, she just hadn't known how to approach him about what he was thinking or feeling. 

"Monica?" Doggett called to her softly. She stirred in the chair and then came fully awake. 

"John, are you okay? What's wrong?" She came to the side of the bed. 

"I'm okay. Look." He raised his arms and moved them up and down. There was still pain, but it was no where near as bad as it had been. 

Monica was stunned. "John that's wonderful. I'll get the doctor." She started out but he stopped her. 

"Monica, I'm glad you're here. I'm glad we can keep things good between us." 

"We're friends John. I thought we came close to being lovers once, and it will be hard to lose your love, but I don't want to lose your friendship too. You have to do what makes you happy." 

"I'll always love you, Monica. You will never lose my love." 

She smiled at him, a slightly sad smile. "I know." Then she went to get the doctor. 

* * *

Mulder walked into the hospital and immediately felt like he was trespassing. He wasn't sure if Doggett really would have him thrown out of his room, but he was going to find out. He had called four times before deciding to come and see if Doggett would talk to him face to face. Scully hadn't wanted him to come since she couldn't come with him, but he told her that he couldn't sit around and not do anything, he had to talk to Doggett and make him understand that things were not what the photos and film footage was making them out to be. 

"Mulder?" 

He looked up from his thoughts to see Monica coming out of the waiting room. He smiled at her and opened his arms to receive the hug she offered. 

"Hey, how are you holding up? Have you heard anything? I've been calling all morning." Mulder told her as they went back into the waiting room. 

"There's been some changes." Monica said. 

Mulder tried not to let the alarm show on his face. "How bad?" He asked. 

Monica actually smiled and he wasn't sure how to react to that. "Changes for the better. He's moving, Mulder. Moving his arms and legs. He had feeling in them. He's still going to have to undergo surgery, but it's just to help with the pressure on the spinal cord and to repair the vertebrae. It's really good news." 

Mulder thought he had his emotions in check but had to swallow hard several times before speaking. "That is amazing, Monica. I can't belive it." 

Reyes nodded and looked at the floor. "There's something else I need to talk to you about." 

The knot in Mulder's stomach tripled in size. 

"You can relax, Mulder. John and I had a long talk yesterday and we are fine. He caught me off guard with you though." 

Mulder couldn't mask the shock he knew that was showing on his face. Apparently Doggett had told her everything. 

"I just want to know if this thing about you and Scully is true. He's hurting right now, and the pain isn't all because of his back. I thought it might be one of the bureau's media blitz stories, but the photos and the film footage... 

Mulder shook his head. "It's not true, Monica. Scully and I are very, very close friends but there's no sexual relationship and never has been." 

Reyes nodded. "I didn't think you would do that to him. Come here." She opened her arms to him. 

He sighed and went to her. He hugged her tightly and she returned the hug with just as much warmth and affection. "God, I can't tell you how good it is to hear this from you." Mulder said against her shoulder. 

Reyes looked up at him. "John is tough on the outside, but he has the most tender heart of any man I know. It was hard for him dealing with his feelings or you. He's stubborn and this thing with you and Scully is a way for him to try and push back what he struggling with when it comes to his feelings. I still love him and don't want to see him hurt so you have to learn how to deal with him." She touched his cheek and smiled softly. 

Mulder stared at her. "No wonder Doggett loves you. You're an amazing woman." 

Reyes laughed. "Thank you. It's not so amazing. John and I have been friends for years and I knew of his attraction to men, and that he had never allowed himself to explore that side of himself. We shared a very special relationship and I was glad to have him for however long I could. I know I'm talking like I'm losing him, and I know that we will always be close, but his heart belongs to someone else now." She tapped Mulder's chest with her finger. 

Mulder smiled in spite of himself. "I love him, Monica. Do you really think he feels the same about me?" 

"Mulder, you're such a smart man, but you're really dumb when it comes to seeing how others feel about you. He loves me, I know that, but he is in love with you. He has been for a while now." 

Mulder sighed deeply. "Do you think he will see me, talk to me? He told me he would have me thrown out of his room if I came to see him this morning." 

"Oh, he'll see you. I'll make sure of that." 

Mulder laughed. "I hope I can always count on you to help keep him in line." 

"Always." 

They hugged again and Reyes kept her arm around his waist as they walked back to Doggett's room. 

Doggett didn't look surprised to see him. He did look irritated. 

"Feel like some more company?" Monica asked as they entered. 

"We seem to be missing one." Doggett aswered, looking at Mulder. He knew Doggett meant Scully. 

"Scully had some things to do this morning. She asked me to call her when I had some news." 

"From the looks of things you two have a lot of news." 

"John." Monica said. "That's a load of bullshit. They take your injury and turn it into something like this. It's insane." 

Doggett huffed. 

"I'm going down for some coffee for everyone. No, John, I'm not finding you a beer." Monica smiled in an attempt to lighten the mood. She stood and leaned over to kiss his cheek. "I'm so glad that you are doing better." 

"Mulder, you want coffee?" 

"Yes, please. Thank you, Monica." 

Mulder waited until she was out of the room and he made sure the door was closed before he made any move toward the bed or any attempt to speak. 

"Before you say a damn thing, I want you to tell me if you and Scully have ever, _ever_ at any time had anything going on. Sexual, kissing, _anything_." Doggett said before Mulder could open his mouth. 

"Are you going to believe me?" 

"Well if that isn't dodging a question..." 

"Oh for God's sake, would you cut the shit!" Mulder looked at the door, moved to the other side of the room and lowered his voice. "What the hell do you think I'm doing? Playing you and Scully? Why does everyone believe this is a crock of shit made up by the media except for you?" 

"Because of the news footage. The photos. When I called this morning she was right there with you. You spent the night with her last night instead of staying here or even going to my trailer. How does that look?" 

"It looks like exactly what it was. Scully was just showing concern for me because of what I was going through worring about you. Yes, we both fell asleep on the sofa last night but that automatically mean I fucked her?!" Once again Mulder had to remind himself to keep his voice down. "And I didn't stay here because I couldn't face Monica, I couldn't go to your trailer last night because all I would have done would be sit and cry and think about you not being there. If you have problems with that maybe I should just leave you to deal with them in whatever way you want." 

Mulder held Doggett's cold gaze. This isn't the way he had wanted this to go but if it's the way Doggett wanted to play it, he'd play his game. 

"I told you that I'm not taking this thing with us lightly. I'm not putting myself out there to get hurt." 

Mulder lost the anger he had. "John, I'm not going to hurt you. Not if I can help it. I want a relationship with you if we can ever get past all the things that seem to keep getting in our way." 

Doggett seemed to thaw just a bit, but still looked on guard. 

"John please. If all of your anger came from this media hell with Scully and I, let it go. I sware to you there never was anything romantic and never will be. I told you, just give me a chance to love you." 

Mulder stepped to the edge of the bed and this time Doggett took his hand in his and raised it to his mouth to kiss the back of his fingers. He closed his eyes and sighed. 

Mulder moved away so quickly that it stunned Doggett and he opened his eyes to see if someone had entered the room. Mulder crossed the room and locked the door then crossed back to the bed, bent over and kissed Doggett with all the passion he had been holding in over the last two days since the accident. Their mouths locked and fed off each other, Doggett moved his hand into Mulder's hair and held him to him. Dogget broke the kiss first to look into Mulder's eyes. "I'm in love with you. You know that, right?" 

Mulder nodded and kissed him once more gently. "I love you, too." He moved away, Doggett let his hands slide slowly out of his thick hair. Mulder unlocked the door again and tried to get his emotions in check before Monica got back. 

"I'm still mad at you though." Doggett said as Mulder sat down in the chair closest to the bed. 

Mulder gave him a looked at him with a puzzled expression. 

"You didn't bring my six pack." Doggett grinned. 

"Oh I've got your six pack, right here." Mulder ran his hand down his flat stomach toward his crotch. 

"Damn you, you'd better stop. I'm already tenting here." Doggett said gruffly. 

Mulder laughed. "You deserved it. Are you going to get all mad and jealous again if I ask permission to call Scully to let her know how you are? She really is worried about you." 

Doggett smiled. "No. I'm not going to get mad. And for the record, I'm sorry for being a jerk and believing anything the media had to say. Just make sure to tell Scully that your my man." 

"I like the sound of that." Mulder said with a big smile. 

There was a soft knock on the door and Reyes came in. Mulder made a note to thank her for the warning knock before entering. He thought again about what an amazing woman she was. 

"You two okay in here?" Monica asked. 

Mulder craned his neck around to look at her. "Yep, no blood shed." 

"Good,I found this big lug wandering around out in the hall." Reyes entered followed by Skinner. 

"Skinner! Tell me you brought a six pack, boss. These people won't let me have a beer no matter how sick I play." 

"Oh hell, I knew you were faking. They said you landed on that head of yours and as thick as that skull is I knew there couldn't be brain damage." 

Everyone laughed. Mulder tuned out the ongoing conversation while he dialed Scully's number. She answered on the second ring. 

"Scully, it's me." 

Everyone in the room turned to look at him and roll their eyes. He gave them a "What?!" look and shrugged. 

Scully laughed. "Things must be going good." 

"They are. Really good. John is moving his arms and his legs without a lot of the pain he had on the first day. He still has to have the surgery to relieve the pressure on the spinal cord and to fix the vertebre, but he's doing great." 

"And tell her she better get over here with the rest of us." Doggett added loud enough for Scully to hear. 

"I heard him. So you two have worked things out? I'm welcome in the inner circle again?" Scully laughed. 

"You bet you are. You coming this way now? Monica and Skinner are here." 

"I'm on my way. And I'm so glad you two could work this out. HOw are things going with Monica there?" 

"Everything's fine. She's here but she looks like she needs to go get some rest. Maybe she will let us take over watch for a while so she can go get some sleep." Mulder said while looking at Reyes. She gave him a smile and nodded. Doggett reached out his hand to her and she went to him and sat on the edge of the bed. Mulder felt no jealously at all after the converstaion he had shared with her. 

"I'll see you in a few minutes then." 

They hung up and Mulder joined the conversation again. 

"So what is this BS I hear about you not wanting to have this surgery?" Skinner asked. 

"I'm just not sure I want to have it now that I'm improving and moving so well. There are so many risks involved with the surgery that I could end up paralyzed from just the work they want to do. What if I come out of this and heal fine without the surgery?" 

"And what if you don't?" Mulder asked. "You could be fine for a while and then move the wrong way one day and be paralyzed that way. Or you could do something during filming. Your job alone is a health risk without an injury like this." 

Everyone was nodding. "I can see I'm fighting a losing battle here." Doggett said. "You're all ganging up on me and that's not fair." 

"Ooohhh, poor baby." Monica said and everyone laughed. 

"Okay, okay. I'll think about it some more today and give the doctors an answer tomorrow." Doggett said with a glance toward Mulder. 

Mulder realized he wanted to talk to him about it before making the final decission. The warmth in his stomach and chest almost made the tears well in his eyes again. He thought about how he really needed to get his emotions in check. 

"Anyone order a red headed stripper?" Scully said as she entered the room. Mulder, Skinner and Doggett all gave a hearty. "I did!" And laughter filled the room again. 

Scully squeezed Mulder's shoulder as she went by his chair and gave hugs all around until she got to Doggett's bedside. They locked eyes and shared an unspoken converstaion between them before Scully bent and wrapped her arms around his neck in a big hug. He returned the hug with just as much force and said something in her ear. If Mulder had to guess, he would say it was an apology. She kissed his forehead and then wiped at the lipstick. "Wouldn't want anyone getting jealous." She winked at him. 

Monica laughed a laugh that said she knew that wasn't directed at her, but at Mulder. 

Then Doggett did something that had Mulder, Scully and Reyes all exchanging glances. "While we are all here, I've got something I need to say." Reyes looked at Doggett. Scully looked at Mulder. Mulder gave her a look that said he wasn't sure if Doggett was about to do what he suspected but that it was okay if he did. Then Doggett looked at him and he gave him the same look. Doggett nodded once. 

Skinner was looking around confused. "Why do I get the feeling there's something I don't know, but am about to?" Skinner said. 

"Because that's exactly what's going on." Dogget said. 

"Is it bad news?" Skinner asked, his face showing concern. 

"Well, we don't know yet. It all depends on how you take it." Mulder chimed in. 

"I want to say this first, Monica and I have already talked about this matter and she had a nice talk with Mulder this morning. Mulder and Scully had talked about it also and I sort of made the decision on my own this morning to include you because I feel like you're as much a part of it as all of us are." 

"Okay, now you have me intrigued. What's going on?" He said, looking from Doggett to Mulder. 

Doggett exhailed and pushed himself up in the bed, the motion causing him to wince slightly. "You sure you want to do this?" Mulder asked as he stood and crossed to the bed. 

Doggett looked up at him and nodded. He fumbled with the covers for a minute, just nervous fidgeting, exhaled a long breath and looked at Skinner. "Mulder and I need to talk to you about something. We have decided that we are going to make an attempt at a partnership." 

Skinner's expression didn't change, he nodded. "What kind of partnership? In the bureau?" He just looked so innocent. 

Mulder was looking at the floor in an attempt not to laugh at Skinner. Monica snorted. Scully had turned toward the window and Doggett was just grinning. 

"Well what kind of business partnership are you...." It must have dawned on him then because he stopped in mid-sentence and his face went red the way it always does when he's embarrassed or has been laughing to hard. It started at his neck, ran up his cheeks and ears then all over his usually shining bald head. 

He opened his mouth to say something. Closed it again. Opened it once more then just shook his head. "I don't know what to say." 

"Don't get the wrong idea. We haven't been seeing each other on the side and sneaking around. It's not like that. We've had these feelings for some time, well I'm saying we, but I guess I'm speaking for myself." Doggett said and looked at Mulder. Mulder touched his arm. 

"You're speaking for both of us." 

"We just realized the day of my accident that neither one of us wanted to keep hiding it anymore, that we wanted a relationship with each other and then things happened and I ended up here and..." Doggett looked at Scully. 

She smiled at him then turned to Skinner. "And then he saw the news stories and the footage and photos of me comforting Mulder and thought I was trying to steal his man already." 

Everyone laughed. 

Skinner shook his head and looked at Mulder. "That's what I thought this was about. I thought you and Scully were going to confess something. And after those phone messages you left me ---Damn, man, what the hell is it with you that you have every man and woman after you, or at least according to the news you do." 

Mulder laughed and moved toward Skinner. "Oh, come here you big bald beautiful man, don't be jealous." 

To everyone's surprise and delight Skinner went right over to Mulder, grabbed him in a big bear hug and kissed his cheek. "But I want you all to myself." Everyone broke up with laughter. Scully laughed so hard she had tears running down her cheeks and was standing doubled over. Monica nearly fell off the edge of the bed where she was sitting. Doggett was trying not to laugh so he wouldn't start hurting but wasn't doing a very good job of it and when the nurse opened the door, looked in and saw Skinner with Mulder in his arms and said "What in the name of all that's holy is going on in here?" Everyone stopped exchanged glances and burst into another round. Scully actually ran past everyone to get to the restroom and Monica had to stand up before she did end up in the floor. Doggett had his arms crossed over his stomach laughing and crying all at the same time and Skinner and Mulder were laugh-crying on each others shoulders. 

Mulder saw Doggett first and pushed Skinner back and moved to the bed."John? Are you okay?" All laughter stopped then. The nurse rushed to the other side of the bed and pushed the call button for another nurse. Doggett was in the middle of a seizure again. 

Mulder sat on the edge of the bed and put his arm around Doggett, he just lay over against Mulder and kept tensing. 

Skinner headed for the door because he knew the nurses would make him leave anyway and when Scully came out of the restroom he hustled her out with him, the nurses came in just as the others cleared the doorway. 

Mulder eased Doggett back onto the bed and he and Monica moved out of the way. 

As the nurses did their routine of checking Doggett's machines and vital signs Mulder turned his back and looked at the wall. Reyes touched his shoulder and rubbed lightly. When he heard one of the nurses tell the other one to go get the doctor he looked at Reyes with panic on his face. "It's normal. The doctor has to be told each time this happens and he has to check Doggett himself." 

Mulder didn't relax any. He should have known better than to be acting up like that in front of Doggett. 

* * *

Mulder sat in the waiting room and tried to clear his mind. 

Skinner took the seat next to him. "How you doing?" 

"Okay, it's just tough right now." Mulder smiled a lop-sided smile.  
Mulder had to ask the question nagging the back of his mind. 

"Are you really okay with this situation between John and I?" 

Skinner looked him straight in the eyes. "Mulder, we've known each other a long time and I consider you a friend as well as a co-worker, I think you know that. I know you're a good man and I'm not homophobic so if this is something that you and Doggett are happy with, I'm happy for you." 

Mulder nodded. "Good enough for me." 

Skinner reached over and thumped him on the back. "At least you won't have to answer a million questions about sharing rooms now since it's two male agents." he said with a big smile. 

Mulder jokingly knocked his hand away and rolled his eyes. 

Scully came in and both men turned their attention to her. "I'll let you two talk."Mulder said as he stood. "I'm going back down to see if John is awake." 

Skinner and Scully nodded and exchanged glances. 

Mulder went back down the hall to Doggett's room with a new feeling he hadn't had before now. A feeling of being watched. 

* * *

Doggett once again came to slowly. When he opened his eyes he had to blink several times because the light hurt. This was something new. 

"Hey there handsome." A voice said from his right. 

Mulder stood and walked to the edge of the bed. 

"Light." Doggett said gruffly. 

Mulder instantly thought about Skinner and his sensativity to light when Krycek had his hold on him. He went to the switches and turn them all off, leaving only the soft glow of light coming from the restroom doorway. 

"How's that?" he asked. 

"Mm-better." Doggett mumbled. He realized that he felt like he was hungover. "Did you shoot the guy that beat me until I felt like this?" he asked Mulder jokingly. 

"If I get my hands on his ass, you can count on shooting going on."  
Mulder said, his voice heavy with anger. 

Doggett squinted at him. "I was joking." 

"I'm not joking." Mulder said coldly. 

He moved to the bedside and leaned down to kiss Doggett softly. Although there was a moment of surprise on his face, Doggett didn't refuse him. 

"I feel a lot better after that." Doggett smiled up at him. 

Mulder smiled. "Nice try hot shot. You're still not getting out of here any faster." 

Doggett's brow furrowed. "I still don't think I need that damn surgery. If I could get past these seizures I could get out of here a lot quicker." 

Mulder just nodded. "Well, you have to take your time and you have to have the surgery." 

"I have to have the surgery?" Doggett questioned. 

"Yes. Because I say so." Mulder said with smile. 

"Think that smile is going to make me agree just like that?" 

"I thought I'd give it a try." Mulder laughed. 

"Yeah, well---cut it out because it might just work." Doggett reached over and ran a finger down Mulder's arm. 

Mulder moved his hand to take Doggett's in his. "Seriously, John, you have to have this surgery. If it's what the doctors say is best for you." 

"Okay. If you think so then I'll do it." Doggett agreed and squeezed Mulder's hand. 

"I must have a better smile than I thought." 

"You have got one damn sexy smile." Doggett agreed."And I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get out of this bed and get into one with you. I want you so bad, Fox. Even when I'm in pain, I want you." 

"I still make you hard?" Mulder wasn't asking to be a tease. He was asking because he was afraid he was hurting Doggett. 

"Yes. And it takes the pain away. You are all I can think of and it takes the focus from the pain. You are good for me." 

Mulder inwardly sighed with relief. "I can't wait to be with you either, but it's not something I want to harp on and make you sad about. I'm not going anywhere. I'll be here waiting whenever you want me, if you still want me when this is all over with." 

Doggett looked at him with an almost angry look. "IF? Are you doubting my feelings already?" 

"Calm down." Mulder smiled. "That's not what I meant. I believe in your feelings for me. As much as I believe in mine for you." 

Doggett seemed to relax some. He got a small grin on his face. "We don't have to wait. There's room in this bed for two." 

Mulder laughed. "Yeah, and get us kicked out of the hospital?" 

Doggett continued to grin. "Come on, lock the door and lay down with me. I'll be a good boy, really." 

Mulder cocked his sideways and shook his head slightly. "No you wouldn't." He said suspiciously. "You forgot to wipe the little wolfish grin off your face. And besides, I'm not taking any chances on making you seize again." 

"But that's the whole point, I want to seize something." Doggett tugged at his hand. Mulder stepped closer and Doggett eased his hand between Mulder's jean clad legs. Mulder groaned long and loud. His head rolled back and his eyes closed. Just Doggett's touch made him want to cum within seconds. 

"John..." he said in a gruff whisper. "The door...someone could..." 

"Then lock it." Doggett said and squeezed Mulder's hard-on softly before letting him go. 

Mulder tried one more protest. "John, we'll get caught. There are too many people in and out at this time of evening." 

"Then stay here with me tonight. They don't bother me so much through the night. Just every couple of hours and we could lock it between those times." 

Mulder nodded. "I'll stay on one condition. You have to promise that nothing's going to happen that's going to strain you. You have to take it easy." 

Doggett nodded. "Beggin' for mercy already?" He grinned that wolfish grin again. 

"You think about that little tease while I'm in the bathroom." Mulder said, with a sly grin of his own and a glance at his crotch. 

"Damn you." Doggett said and moved his hand to his own erection showing through the thin hospital bed sheet and blanket. 

"I wonder if the hospital would mind if I borrowed your shower." Mulder continued as he backed toward the restroom door and unbuttoned a button on his shirt. 

Doggett groaned. "I'll stop the teasing. Now you're just being cruel. I sware if you go in there and run that shower, I'll call a nurse in here and have her go get Scully." 

As if on cue there was a knock on the door. Mulder and Doggett looked at the door then at each other and laughed. The door opened slightly and Monica poked her head in. "Hey, can we come in?" 

Doggett moved the rolling table over his lap again and nodded. 

"I was just going to the restroom." He smiled at Monica and went into the restroom. "You might want to flip on a light. They were hurting his eyes when he woke up so I turned them off." 

"Suuuure. Likely story." Scully's voice floated in behind him as he closed the door. He laughed and heard more laughter in the room outside. 

Mulder leaned against the restroom wall and tried to will the hard on in his pants away. His mind just kept coming back to Doggett and his touch, his kiss, the look of open desire on his face when they were alone. That was only making the situation worse. He wondered how long it would take him to cum. He couldn't believe he was standing here thinking about jacking off with half a dozen people in the other room. 

He unzipped his jeans, reached in and pulled his dick up until it was veritical with his stomach. He closed his eyes. He ran his hand down to stroke his balls and thought about it being John doing this to him. Then he thought about John's mouth on him, his tongue licking him. He shivered. He was already close. CLosing one fist around the shaft of his dick he began to pump it. Now he thought about fucking John. He had to bite his lip to keep from making any noises someone might hear. He made a fist with his other hand and covered the head of his dick with it to try and catch most of the cum that he knew was about to explode from him. He thought about John fucking him and felt that first tensing of his balls as he became to cum. He kept stroking hard and the cum poured from his dick into his other fist. Breathing hard, he tried to regain immediate control. His dick still twitching against his stomach, he moved to the sink to wash his hands. Moving a little faster now, he adjusted his deminishing erection and fixed his jeans. Then he put on his acting face and went out to join the others. 

* * *

The atmosphere in Doggett's hospital room that evening was the best it had been since the accident. No tension, no wondering who was going to see something, or think something if Mulder and Doggett exchanged a glance. They were at ease and so were their co-workers. 

When the nurses came in and started running everyone out of the room becuase of the late hour, goodbyes were said, hugs and well wishes exchanged until the only visitors left with Doggett were Mulder and Scully. Reyes had went on to the waiting room. 

Scully stretched and yawned. "Okay boys, I'm going down to my comfortable chair in the waiting room so you two can have some privacy." She smiled and winked at Doggett as she came around to the chair Mulder was sitting in. She wrapped her arms around his neck from behind and leaned over to kiss his cheek. "Make sure he doesn't try to run off tonight. You are planning on staying, aren't you?" 

Mulder leaned his head back and looked up at her with a smile. "I just want to spend some more time with him..." 

Scully shook her head. "I'll come back in the morning. You two need some alone time. But you better behave yourselves. We don't want anymore breaking news right now." She mussed Mulder's hair then moved to the bed to hug Doggett. "I mean it. You two be good in here, or I'll run him out myself." Doggett raised one of her hands to his mouth and kissed it. "Yes, ma'am." 

"And no midnight runs for beer." She shot back over her shoulder as she went out the door. Both men laughed. Mulder shook his head. "She's really something else." 

There was a sadness in Doggett's voice when he spoke that Mulder hadn't heard before.  
"You're feeling guilty." 

Mulder raised his head and looked at Doggett. "I'm not going to lie to you. Part of me does, yes. But I don't regret the choice I've made. I'll tell you that a thousand times if I have to until you believe it. I have struggled with my sexuality for years and what I share with you, it's right. It doesn't just feel right, it is right. That's the only way I know to word it." 

"I feel like I should apologize." Doggett said, the sadness was still there. 

"Stop it. We'll get through this. If you keep talking like that I'll feel even more guilty than I already do." 

Doggett smiled slightly. "I don't want that. I'm glad you feel secure in the choice you've made about us. The things you say about us make me happy." 

"You have enough to worry about without worrying about me. You worry about getting better and getting out of here." 

They smiled at each other. 

"You're too far away from me sitting way over there in that chair." 

"I'm afraid of what you might do if I get too close." Mulder said with a grin. 

"They'll be in to give me my medicine in a few minutes and then they'll leave me alone for a couple of hours during shift change and between meds and vital checks. Are you going to give in and get a little closer then?" Doggett asked with a grin of his own. 

Mulder tilted his head a little and gave him a quizzical look. "I don't know. It all depends on what you have planned for me. I don't like that look of yours." 

"I'll be good. I promise." Doggett said in an innocent tone. 

Mulder just shook his head. "Uh-huh. I'm sure you will. And I intend to find out, when you're better." 

"Spoil sport." Doggett said with a mock pout. 

"I think I hold the title for that look, so don't even try it." Mulder said and gave him his best hurtpout look that almost always worked with Scully. 

"Okay, okay, you win! Damn, don't do that again while I'm in this bed. That lip of yours..."  
Doggett trailed off while looking at Mulder's mouth. 

Mulder swallowed hard. Those eyes of John's had a way of doing things to him that no woman's, or man's for that matter, had ever done to him before. 

"Don't do that." He said, his voice deep and more forceful than intended. 

Their eyes locked and that electricity was back between them. The same heat and intensity from their encounter on the set that day. 

"This is a bad idea, John." Mulder said in a husky whisper. 

"No, it's not. Stay." Doggett said. 

A soft knock on the door announced the arrival of the nurse. Both men broke their gaze and acted as normal as possible while she did what needed to be done, talked about the show for a few minutes and then left. 

"Lock the door, Mulder." was the first thing Doggett said. 

"John..." Mulder started to protest again. 

"Lock the fucking door,Fox, or I'll get up and do it myself." 

Mulder looked at him for a minute, then stood, crossed the room and locked the door. 

"Fix the lights the way you had them earlier and come here." Doggett continued to instruct him. 

Mulder once again turned off all the lights, only leaving the soft glow of the light from the restroom to illuminate the room then walked to the side of Doggett's bed. 

"Take your shirt off." 

Mulder saw no harm in removing his shirt. He would have time to put it back on if anyone came knocking at the door. And if Doggett did anything that he felt was too much of a strain for him, he was going to stop it anway, so he did what Doggett instructed him to do and unbuttoned his shirt, removing it slowly. Before he even had if off his shoulders, Doggett's hand was running over the skin of his stomach, making him shiver. 

Doggett was hard the moment his hand touched Mulder's smooth skin. He moved his hand over his stomach, sides, up to his chest. 

He looked Mulder in the eyes as he moved both hands to the button of Mulder's jeans. Mulder held his gaze but his breath speeded up and Doggett saw the bulge in his pants grow considerably, which made one corner of his mouth go up. He undid the button and zipper slowly. Using both hands he put his palms flat against Mulder's skin and slid the jeans down slightly then used his thumbs to push his boxers down so that he could free Mulder's now throbbing hard on from it's restraints. 

Mulder was shaking. He had to steady himself by grabbing the corner of Doggett's hospital bed mattress, his fingers digging in immediately. His other hand went to Doggett's forearm, he ran the hand up to Doggett's shoulder. 

"Now I can see what all the fuss has been about." Doggett said, looking at Mulder's cock similar to the way a wolf might look at the prey it's about to gobble up for dinner. As Doggett touched him for the first time, Mulder struggled to keep his sanity, and to keep from acting like a teenage boy having sex for the first time. "How big are you, Mulder?" Doggett's deep, husky voice floated up to him. "Ten inches? Eleven?" Mulder felt Doggett's touch like velvet on his dick, heard his voice like silk in his ear, saw those eyes like the sky itself open to him and couldn't even think. He just shook his head to say he didn't know, had never tried to measure. 

"Mmm." Doggett continued to stroke him gently and look as if he were about to eat him alive. "Eleven at least. Almost makes me jealous. But mostly just makes my mouth water." And with that he leans over and devours as much of Mulder's dick as he can get into his mouth at once, moving his tongue all over the shaft to wet it good. 

Mulder nearly dropped to his knees. He did double over slightly and groan loudly, the hand that was on Doggett's shoulder going to the back of his head. "JesusGodJohnFuck..." Mulder managed to say, all as one word. 

Doggett moaned at Mulder's reaction and the vibration in his throat only made Mulder squirm more. Doggett let Mulder's dick slide from his mouth and licked the pre-cum from the tip, loving the way Mulder was shivering from his movements, then took him in his mouth again as he moved a hand to message his balls. 

Both of Mulder's hands were on Doggett's head now. He was trying hard not to fuck the hell out of Doggett's mouth. He wanted to let Doggett go at his pace. Doggett moved his hands around to his ass, squeezed, then moved one back around to hold his dick as he let it slide from his mouth. He moved his mouth and took first one ball into his mouth and sucked it hard, then the other. Mulder was panting now. His head rolled back and his chest heaved. 

When Doggett took his dick in his mouth again and swallowed over half of it, Mulder looked down and right into those big blue eyes. "John, I can't last, I'm too close, I can't ... I'm...." he stuttered. 

Doggett let him slide from his mouth again long enough to say one word. "Cum." Then began sucking him again. 

"I want to fuck that mouth of yours." Mulder said gruffly. 

Dogget nodded. 

Mulder groaned and tentatively thrust into Doggett's mouth once. Doggett squeezed his ass again and kept his gaze steady with Mulder's. Those eyes were driving Mulder mad. Looking into those eyes and seeing his dick going in and out of that mouth. He pumped more and Doggett moaned again, sending off that vibration in his throat. Mulder bit his lip and fucked Doggett's mouth until he felt himself shooting cum down his throat and saw stars. Mulder nearly yelled out loud. Doggett was making a humming noise as he swallowed shot after shot of Mulder's cum. Mulder's knees were buckling, his chest heaving and covered with sweat. Doggett wouldn't stop until his tongue had lapped every last drop. Mulder's dick was dancing in his mouth and still he wouldn't release him. Mulder doubled over and placed his forehead against the top of Doggett's head. Doggett let him slide from his mouth, then he tilted his head up and found Mulder's mouth with his. The kiss was hot and fierce. Doggett's fingers gripped Mulder's hair hard and held his mouth to his with almost bruising force. Mulder met the kiss with just as much intensity and loved the taste of his own cum on Doggett's tongue. When they came up for air they were both panting. "You're fucking amazing." Mulder said. 

"Not as amazing as you." Doggett said and touched Mulder's still twitching dick lightly. 

"Oh no you don't." Mulder said, moving his hand away and tucking himself away, leaving his jeans undone for comfort at the moment. "It's time to take care of you. And I have to be gentle and not get you too worked up." 

"Too late for the "not too worked up" part." Doggett said with a grin, glancing down to the tenting covers. 

Mulder tilted his head and looked at Doggett. "You know what I mean." He sat down on the edge of the bed. He placed a hand on both of Doggett's sides and ran his hands upward, moving the thin material of the hospital gown with his hands until he knew only the sheet was covering Doggetts erection. Their eyes were locked once again. "You have to promise me, you'll tell me to stop if you start feeling bad in any way." Mulder said softly. 

"I will." Doggett agreed. 

Mulder tugged the sheet down, letting it glide slowly down Doggett's dick. Doggett groaned at the sensation. Mulder moved his eyes from Doggett's to look at his dick. "And you were almost jealous of me?" Mulder said as he placed his palm flat on the underside of Doggett's dick, laying it against his lower stomach, the tip reaching to his naval. "You've got a good 10 inches of your own here, big boy." 

"Close enough." Doggett said breathlessly as he watched Mulder's hand move on his dick. With his other hand, Mulder moved the hospital gown farther up Doggett's chest. He leaned over and kissed the dip in Doggett's chest, right at his sternum. Doggett's hand went to Mulder's hair and he moaned. 

Mulder was moving slowly. He moved his tongue over the skin of Doggett's chest and ribs. 

"Get your fucking mouth up here, Fox." Doggett demanded. 

Mulder tilted his head up to meet Doggett's eyes and grin. "You can't let me have control for more than a minute, can you?" 

"My lips are jealous of any other part of my body that your lips touch, I can't help it." Was the response that caught Mulder so off guard he just stared at Doggett for a minute. He moved up the bed and kissed Doggett. More gently this time. Doggett's hand was still in his hair, but his fingers were not gripping now, they were just gently settled there. 

As they kissed, Mulder moved his hand, stroking Doggett's dick slowly. Doggett moved his hips upward once and Mulder broke the kiss, "Don't. Don't move or I'll stop." 

"Do you know how fucking hard that's going to be to do?" 

"It's my rule. You can't be moving your lower back, John. I want this. I want to do this for you, but we still have to be careful." Mulder kissed him again. 

Doggett sucked lightly at Mulder's lower lip and thought about how he would jump through fire hoops for this man right now if he asked him to. Trying to keep still for a hand job or blow job couldn't be that hard to do. 

"I'll do whatever you want." He said against Mulder's soft, full lips. 

Mulder's hand was still moving on Doggett's dick. Mulder moved his mouth from Doggett's and trailed kisses down his chin, across his jaw, down his neck and all over his chest. 

Doggett watched it all. Everytime Mulder's lips touched his skin they left a hot, tingling wet patch and Doggett's cock jumped several times against Mulder's hand. When Mulder made it to his navel, Dogget watched as his tongue made a few lazy circles in and out of the little dip and Doggett had to tighten his fingers in Mulder's hair and bite his own lip even harder than he already had been. Mulder stopped with his mouth just a half an inch from the head of Doggett's jumping, eager dick and looking up at Doggett. 

"No, bucking." Mulder said in a hucky voice that made Doggett shiver. He just nodded at him as a response. 

Mulder moved a little farther down in the bed, turned his head so he could be looking up at Doggett, and licked Doggett's dick from root to tip, taking his time and keeping his eyes on Doggett's until Doggett closed his and pushed his head back into the pillow with a low moan of pleasure, his fingers tight in Mulder's hair. 

Mulder then slowly took Doggett into his mouth, inch by inch, swallowing as much of him as he could. When he had as much of him in his throat as he could take he worked his throat and tongue around his shaft and moved his head up and down just an inch or two. "Oh, God, Fox." Doggett breathed and once again looked down to watch what Mulder was doing to him. 

Continuing this movement with his mouth, trying to take in a little more each time he went down, MUlder moved his hands over Doggett's stomach and chest. 

"Ah, fuck I love the way my dick looks in your mouth." Doggett said as he watched his dick moving in and out of those gorgeous lips of Mulder's. 

Mulder sucked harder in response and Doggett groaned again, feeling the cum that had been buiding from all the teasing they had been doing today threatening to shoot already. He didn't want it to end this soon. "Don't. I can't..." 

Before he could finish, Mulder  
moved a hand back to Doggett's dick and while holding him at the base, took him deep into his throat, swallowing as he went, swirling his tongue. 

Doggett tightend his fingers in Mulder's hair harder than he meant as he felt his orgasm starting without him even being aware it was happening. 

Mulder worked his throat on the head of Doggett's dick, sucking him hard with the rest of his mouth and swallowing as fast as he could when Doggett started shooting stream after stream of hot cum down his throat. Mulder was watching Doggett closely. His eyes were closed and his head was back. He was panting and his fingers were gripping Mulder's hair so tightly that it hurt, but Mulder was loving it. 

Mulder licked every last drop from Doggett before raising his head. Doggett opened his eyes and eased his grip on Mulder's hair and began stroking instead. "Damn, I didn't realize I was pulling your hair so hard, did I hurt you?" Doggett's brow furrowed with concern. 

Mulder moved up the bed to kiss Doggett. "No." He answered against Doggett's lips. The kiss was soft and slow. Doggett's fingers still sifted through Mulder's hair. 

"You feel okay?" Mulder asked, looking into those blue eyes for any sign of pain. 

"I feel great." Doggett smiled. "You going to leave me all cold and lonely now, or actually lay here with me for a minute?" 

Mulder stood, stretched, covered Doggett then lay down on the bed with Doggett, there was barely enough room for him and he was laying right on the edge of the bed, but he wasn't about to let Doggett scoot over. 

Doggett had watched Mulder's movements, enjoying the whole show. Mulder's gorgeous muscles rippling under his skin when he stretched, the way his stomach moved and his arms flexed when he had raised them. And now he was laying here in his arms. Mulder's head rested on his chest, his arm lay thrown across his stomach. Doggett tilted his head forward and inhaled the scent of Mulder's hair. 

"I could die right now and be happier than I've ever been in my life." Doggett said softly. 

Mulder raised his head so quickly he almost hit Doggett in the face. "Don't say that. Don't say shit about you dying. You can tell me you're happy I'm here, or happy we're together, but don't say things about you dying." 

Doggett smiled. "Okay, okay. I'm sorry." He eased Mulder's head back down to his shoulder. "Get some sleep. I'll wake you before time for anyone to come in. I know I've had more rest lately than you have." 

Mulder shook his head no. "I can't. If we both fell asleep and anyone found that door locked, we'd be in trouble. I'll lay here for a while with you, but I can't fall asleep." 

"Then just lay here with me." Doggett said, and began stroking Mulder's hair gently.   
Within minutes both men were sound asleep. 

Mulder woke with a start, instantly realizing where he was and that he had thought he heard someone knock on the door. Doggett was still sleeping so he moved slowly as he stood up from the bed. He listened for another knock as he pulled on his shirt and fixed his jeans. 

There was no other knock on the door so Mulder just chalked it up to hearing things. He looked at his watch and saw that he had only been asleep a couple of hours. He was glad to see that Doggett was resting too. He went to the restroom, unlocked the door then settled into the chair next to Doggett's bed. 

* * *

"Sleepyhead!" Mulder heard somone call through the fog in his head. It wasn't John, it sounded more like--- 

He opened his eyes and found Scully looking at him. "You were really sleeping there. Have a long night, did you?" She asked in a teasing tone. 

"I'll always keep you guessing, Scully." Mulder answered with a wink. 

Scully slapped his shoulder. "Though I should wake you. The doctor's are coming in today to talk to John about his surgery. They should be here any minute and I thought you might want to be the one to wake him up and let him know. 

Mulder sat up and nodded. "He's not going to be happy, but he says he'll go through with the operation if it's what I want and think is best. Am I making the right choice, Scully?" 

Scully nodded. "Yes. He could have more serious complications if he doesn't have the surgery. And it's a fairly simple procedure." 

Mulder nodded and went over to Doggett's bed to wake him and give him the news. 

* * *

"I'm nervous." Doggett said, looking into Mulder's eyes. 

Mulder leaned over and kissed him softly. "Everything will be fine. You'll see. We'll all be right here waiting when you get out of recovery." 

Doggett looked to make sure nobody else could hear him, he didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. "I don't care about anyone else being here, as long as you're here." 

"Count on it. The doctors say you should be out of here soon after the surgery, but you'll need some home care. Have you thought any about that?" Mulder had planned on waiting to bring this up, but there were some arrangements to make if Doggett gave him the answer he was hoping for. 

"No, I hadn't got that far." Doggett admitted. 

"Will you come stay with me? Or let me come to your place to take care of you? It doesn't matter to me just as long as you'll let me be there to help take care of you." 

Doggett smiled. "We'll stay in mine. It's bigger than yours." 

Mulder laughed. 

The orderly came in to wheel Doggett down to surgery. "Ready to go Mr. Doggett?" 

Doggett nodded. "Ready as I'll ever be." 

As the orderly busied himself with adjusting the bed to be rolled out, Doggett mouthed "I love you." to Mulder, while looking him in the eye. 

Mulder wanted to say it out loud, but that must not have been something John wanted said in front of the orderly. They hadn't talked about going public with their relationship yet so Mulder mouthed the words back at him and moved aside so the others could hug him and  
give him words of encouragement. 

* * *

"What the hell is taking so long?" Mulder asked nobody in particular as he paced the waiting room. "They said it would take about an hour and it's been almost an hour and a half. Someone could come and let us know something." 

Monica looked at Scully and she rolled her eyes. Monica smiled. "Mulder, calm down. They will let us know something as soon as they can." Scully tried to assure him. 

"Stop worrying yourself to death. Sit down. You're making me tired just watching you wear out that path in the carpet." Skinner said. 

"Amen." Monica said. Everyone laughed lightly. Mulder gave them a sheepish smile and shrugged. Just as Mulder sat back down, the doctor entered. 

"How is he?" Mulder asked, springing to his feet again. 

"Would you rather talk in private, or is it okay to talk here? The doctor asked and glanced around the room. 

"It's fine. Is there something wrong?" 

"No, no. Everything went fine. He's in recovery and should be back in his room within an hour. He's going to be fine. There's no pressure on the spinal cord and the vertebrae repair turned out perfect. He'll be up and about in a week or so, but he'll need home care and light physical therapy. I'll have the nuses go over everything with you once he's out of recovery and back in his room." 

"Thank you, thank you so much." Mulder smiled and shook the doctor's hand. Once the  
doctor was gone everyone sighed with relief. Scully went to Mulder, and hugged him tightly. 

"See, I told you he'd be fine." She smiled up at him. There were hugs and hand shakes exchanged by everyone. 

* * *

"Hey, blue eyes, you awake?" Mulder asked as he tried to get Doggett to open his eyes. "Come on, open up those baby blues and give me a smile." 

Doggett smiled before he opened his eyes. He blinked a few times and looked around, then focused on Mulder. 

"That's what I wanted to see." Mulder said and gave Doggett a big smile. 

Doggett cleared his throat. "Recovery?" 

Mulder shook his head. "You're in your room. Everything went fine. Everyone  
else is in the waiting room taking bets on how long it takes you to ask for a beer." 

Doggett smiled again. Mulder ran a   
hand over his cheek.   
"How you doin' handsome?" he asked. 

"Sleepy. Not hurting though." Doggett said in a cracked voice. 

"Want some water?" Mulder asked. 

Doggett nodded and Mulder poured him a small cup of water, putting a hand behind his head to help him drink from the cup. "Better?" he asked. 

Doggett cleared his throat. "Much. Be better if it were..." he trailed off and grinned. 

"Ohhhh, you almost said it." Mulder laughed. "Feel like eating something? You must be hungry." 

Doggett shook his head no. "Not just yet. How long do I have to stay awake? I just want to get some more sleep." 

"They said if you'd wake up and drink some water and talk for a bit then you could go back to sleep if you want, so you go ahead and get some rest." Mulder said and touched his cheek lightly. Doggett turned his head and kissed Mulder's palm. 

"I think I will." Doggett said and let his eyes close again. Mulder leaned down and kissed Doggett's cheek. 

Mulder left and headed for the waiting room. He let everyone know that Doggett had been awake and talking and seemed fine. He slumped in one of the waiting room chairs and closed his eyes. Scully sat down next to him.   
"Tired?" she asked. 

Mulder shook his head. "Yeah. I think I need some sleep too." 

"I bet you do. Maybe you won't be up all night tonight." She smiled at him. "I assume you're staying here again?" 

"Yeah." 

Scully rubbed his shoulder. "Try to get some rest. I'll wake you if there's any changes or if John asks for you." 

Mulder nodded and closed his eyes. 

* * *

The next couple of weeks went by in a blur. Doggett made smooth recovery, and was taking it slow just like the doctors told him to. He left the hospital in great spirits and his co-workers threw him a welcome home party. 

"At last, I can drink a damn beer!" Doggett exclaimed when Mulder handed him a whole six pack and everyone laughed. 

"Just don't drink them all at once." Mulder warned. 

"Oh, I won't. I'll drink them one at a time." Doggett said with a huge grin. 

The night passed quickly and everyone enjoyed the relaxed, friendly feeling that now filled Doggett's home.  
Monica and Scully were the last ones to leave and they gave Doggett and Mulder a hard time about wanting to be alone and warned them that there might be surprises for them waiting in John's bedroom. 

Mulder and Doggett exchanged curious glances, hugged the women as they walked them to their cars and waved goodbye. 

"Race you." Doggett grinned at Mulder as soon as the cars pulled out. 

Mulder laughed. "No racing yet, speedy. A nice slow walk will be fine." 

"Party pooper." Doggett said with a mock pout. 

"Now what did I tell you about that?" Mulder said, shaking his head. 

"I know, I know, you're the champion pouter around here. You can pout at me all you want to now. I can do something about that lower lip all puffed out." Doggett stepped up to Mulder and kissed him slowly. 

They hadn't had much alone time since Doggett's surgery and both men were feeling the need to be close to each other, as well as the excitement of being able to have all the privacy they wanted. 

Mulder moved his lips over Doggett's and wrapped an arm around his waist. He broke the kiss before they both got really carried away. 

"Come on, let's go see what surprises are waiting for us." Mulder said, leading the way back to the house. 

"Oh good grief." Doggett said as they entered his bedroom. There were candles everywhere and two buckets of ice with chilling champagne in one and beer in another. 

Mulder laughed as he followed Doggett into the dimly lit room. He picked up a small box sitting by one of the candle displays. "Do you like cherry or strawberry?" he asked and shook the box at Doggett who looked at him with a puzzled look on his face. 

Doggett looked at the box and rolled his eyes when he saw it was flavored body oils.   
"At least it's not flavored condoms." he laughed. 

"No, they're over here." Mulder said and held up a smaller box and gave Doggett a huge smile. 

Doggett shook his head. "Those two are really a mess. I wonder who's idea this was. Or do we just kill them both?" 

Both men laughed. 

"So, you want that beer or are you going to share some bubbly with me?" Mulder asked as he took the bottle of champagne out of the ice. 

"I think I'll try the good stuff." Doggett smiled and sat on the sofa. 

Mulder looked at him with a smirk on his face. "To you, the good stuff means beer." 

"No, I meant the champagne. I'll give it a shot. It's a good occasion for it." 

They smiled at each other across the room and Mulder poured two glasses of the sparkling liquid then crossed the room to sit next to Doggett. 

"So, do we toast?" Doggett asked as he took his glass. 

Mulder nodded. "I think so. Just a simple To Us seems nice." 

They touched glasses. "To us." they said in unison. 

Both men took a sip and just as Mulder was about to sit his glass down, Doggett stopped him. "One more." Mulder held his glass out toward Doggett and tilted his head a little, wondering what Doggett was going to toast to now. "And to finding the love and happiness I didn't think I'd ever find." 

Mulder smiled. "To love and happiness for a lifetime." They touched glasses again and sipped. This time they both sat their glasses down at the same time. 

Doggett looked at Mulder as if he were suddenly hungry.  
"Strawberry. Yeah, definately strawberry." He said with a lop-sided grin. 

They both laughed as they tore into the box of body oils. 

* * *

End 

  
 

* * *

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Title:   **Secrets**   
Author:  Jay   [email/website]   
Details:   **Standalone**  |  **NC-17**  |  **92k**  |  **09/11/06**   
Pairings:  Mulder/Doggett   
Category:  Drama, Relationship, Hurt/Comfort   
Summary:  Mulder and Doggett are working undercover as   
actors and it turns out they each have more secrets   
than they knew.   
  
  
  
[top of page] 


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